(OLM WireServices – 02/17/09)
Lanky's Roughneck Saloon will be having it's grand opening on February 28th. Owner Lanky "Roughneck" Lawson says he will cater to all roughnecks in and around Lagerville. "And them who's necks ain't so rough. They'll be 'fodder for the Roughnecks".
Roughneck Lawson (pictured at left) means bidness, Saloon bidness.
Roughneck, who used to run an illegal still up past Sinker Mountain, decided that he might as well make legal money rather than be on constant run from the law, Officer Wallace in particular.
When asked, by this reporter, how he had managed to get his liquor license, Roughneck replied, " Liquor license?" All technicalities aside, Roughneck says that his establishment will be the premiere entertainment center in Lagerville inside a year.
He also says he plans to have the best gizzards east of Doofers. In fact, he will have free gizzards for all during the Grand Opening festivities.
Roughneck encourages all who want to participate in his grand opening tournaments.
Scheduled Events, February 28, 2009
Horseshoe Pitching Tournament: Noon to Closing
Dart Tournament: Noon to Closing
Beer Guzzlin' Tournament: Noon to Closing
Yarn Spinnin' Tournament: Noon to Closing
Wet T-Shirt Contest: Noon to Closing
Celebrity Mudwrestling: Whenever a Celebrity shows up
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